I have a friend I call Taiaý. The nickname came from something he used to say.
We talked about everything. It would start simple and go deeper. Then, at some point, things got complex and I started to tangle myself up. He would stop, raise his eyebrows, and ask:
“So what?” (In Portuguese: “Tá, e aí?”)
I would explain again, with an analogy, with an example. He would repeat:
“So what?”
I’d keep talking. Louder. Already a bit irritated that he “didn’t get it.”
Around the fifth “So what?!” I stopped:
“You’re pulling my leg, aren’t you?”
“Of course. When something is very hard to understand, the question is whether it leads anywhere useful. Or whether it’s the daydream of someone who wants to feel valued because their mental construction looks sophisticated.”
I felt anger on the spot. And he pointed out exactly that: the anger showed how attached I was to my own way of thinking. He had challenged the model, not me.
Now bring this into the meeting room, the presentation, the client call.
How many times have you explained more, with more slides, more data, more words… when the other person just wanted to know: so what do I do with this?
Good communication isn’t proving you’re smart. It’s helping the other person reach something useful.
A simple test before your next meeting: finish this sentence out loud in 20 seconds.
“What I need you to decide/understand/do is ___, because ___.”
If it doesn’t come out, the problem isn’t communication yet. It’s clarity. And clarity can be trained.
What’s the “So what?” you wish someone had asked you before a long meeting?
Do you say what you need to say in the way it needs to be heard? If this text poked at something, a conversation might be worth it. See how the Executive Communication sessions work or write to me.